Apparently the man who walked in space for China wore a suit that was made in China, and survived. The Boring Most does not say who his tailor was or if the material was a cotton-rayon mix or one of the advanced washable fabrics favoured by German designers for those awful tight trousers they make.
I’m not at all sure what the Spacewalk League is, or how you score points or win a trophy because the Boring Most doesn’t actually tell me that. I suspect this might be just more nationalistic hyperbole and flag-waving, but don’t want to be seen as cynical so I won’t write that.
My first thought then, as someone who came of age in the 80s, was Shalamar or Michael Jackson – you know, walking forward while looking like you are walking backwards? But apparently not. So the Spacewalk League is not a breakdance or bodypopping league. It is not clear what the Spacewalk League is.
What is clear from the Boring Most article is that China will be competing for points in spacewalking against the U.S.A. and the U.S.S.R. Except the U.S.S.R. doesn’t exist any more. So, the U.S.A. plus Russia and the bits of Georgia that Putin recently bombed flat. I guess the Spacewalk League is somewhat like international athletics, where competitors travel different distances in competitive times, only now they actually have to be in space in a spacesuit. I wonder if they take steroids. Again, the Boring Most does not say.
The Boring Most does mention that China plans to go to the moon and build a moonstation. My guess is they will then enter a Moonwalking League, which is where they will compete with Michael Jackson and Shalamar, although maybe not. The U.S.A. used to go to the moon but there was no one to bomb there, and no one to preach to about right living, so they stopped going. Maybe China will build a series of widget factories. Maybe N.A.S.A. will bring Michael Jackson out of retirement. It is not clear. The Boring Most does not say.
Finally, and I must go now and have a cup of tea, I should point out that space technology is important because it has been responsible for many important scientific innovations that have improved life on planet earth for many people. One of these inventions is tinfoil. I can’t remember any others right now.
People tend to forget these inventions and focus on the cost of running a Spacewalk League and talk about how when people around the world are poor we shouldn't waste money on shit like this. They overlook the versatility of tinfoil, and focus instead on statistics like these:
- At least 80% of humanity lives on less than $1 a day.
- More than 80 percent of the world’s population lives in countries where income differentials are widening.
- The poorest 40 percent of the world’s population accounts for 5 percent of global income. The richest 20 percent accounts for three-quarters of world income.
Source for statistics: http://www.globalissues.org/article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats#fact3
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